Couples therapy in BOULDER & via Telehealth Across Colorado and North Carolina
Your relationship isn't broken. It's asking for a different kind of attention.
Stop having the same fight. Start understanding what it's really about.
Most couples don't come to therapy because they've stopped loving each other. They come because they're exhausted — from the cycles that never resolve, the distance that keeps returning, the moments of connection that don't quite hold. Something between you has gotten stuck, and neither of you can find the way through alone.
Couples therapy at The Embodied Self is not about taking sides, assigning blame, or teaching you communication scripts. It is about getting underneath the surface arguments to find what is actually happening — in the attachment between you, in the nervous systems you each bring into the room, and in the unspoken longings that often drive the loudest conflicts.
I work with couples as a unit and, when it supports the work, with each partner individually as well. Sometimes the most important relational healing happens in the space each person does on their own — with their own history, their own parts, their own nervous system — before they can fully show up for each other
The approach
I draw on several of the most well-researched and relationally sophisticated frameworks available, integrating them based on what each couple needs rather than applying a single rigid model.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Developed by Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg, EFT is grounded in attachment theory and is among the most researched approaches in couples work. We go beneath the surface reaction — the criticism, the withdrawal, the shutdown — to find the primary emotion underneath: the fear, the longing, the grief of feeling unseen. When partners can access and share those deeper layers, the cycle begins to change.
Gottman Method John and Julie Gottman's decades of research identified the specific patterns that predict relationship breakdown — and the specific practices that build lasting repair. The Gottman framework brings structure and practical skill to the work: understanding your conflict style, building friendship and admiration, and learning to turn toward each other in the moments that matter most.
Imago Relationship Therapy Developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago works with the profound truth that we are unconsciously drawn to partners who mirror our earliest relational experiences — for better and for worse. Rather than treating this as a problem, Imago uses it as a doorway: what frustrates you most about your partner is often pointing directly toward your own deepest growth edge. This framework brings remarkable compassion to conflict.
Conscious Loving (Hendricks Institute) The work of Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks brings a body-centered, somatic lens to relationship — one that asks partners to take full responsibility for their own experience rather than projecting it outward, and to use the relationship itself as a path toward genuine aliveness and creative expression. This approach integrates naturally with the somatic foundation of all my work.
Who this is for
Couples therapy at The Embodied Self may be a fit if you:
Are stuck in cycles of conflict, distance, or disconnection that you can't seem to break on your own
Are navigating a rupture — infidelity, a significant betrayal, or a loss of trust
Are in a life transition together — a move, a new child, a career change — and finding it harder to stay connected
Want to deepen an already good relationship rather than wait for crisis
Are considering separation and want support in making that decision consciously
Are in a relationship affected by one or both partners' trauma history
Want individual support alongside couples work to do your own part of the healing
A note on individual work within couples therapy
Sometimes the most powerful couples work happens when each partner also has space to work individually. I offer individual sessions alongside couples sessions — not as concurrent individual therapy, but as a way to support each person in understanding their own patterns, their own nervous system responses, and their own history as it shows up in the relationship. This is offered selectively and with clear agreements in place to protect the integrity of the couples work.
“You ignore your emotions at your peril because they are organizing you whether you like it or not.”
-Les Greenberg
The body in the room
What makes this work distinct is that I bring a somatic lens to everything. Relationships don't just happen in conversation — they happen in nervous systems. The way your chest tightens before you speak. The way you leave your body when the temperature rises. The way your partner's tone of voice reaches something in you that has nothing to do with what they actually said.
We pay attention to all of it. Because real relational change isn't just about saying the right words — it's about your nervous system learning that this person, and this connection, is safe.
For many couples, that safety was never modeled — in their families of origin, in earlier relationships, or with each other. Building it is the work.
FAQS about Couples Therapy
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No. Some of the most meaningful couples work happens before things break down — when partners are motivated, curious, and want to build something more intentional together. You don't have to be in pain to benefit.
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That's common. I ask that both partners commit to showing up with openness, not certainty. Ambivalence is welcome — it usually has something important to say.
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Yes. I work with couples across all relationship structures, orientations, and backgrounds: LGBTQIA+, Consensually non-monogamous, Poly/kink friendly,
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Yes. Couples work is effective over video, and many partners find it easier to access from their own space. I offer telehealth across Colorado and North Carolina.
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It varies. Some couples do focused, time-limited work around a specific issue. Others engage in longer-term relational deepening. We'll discuss what makes sense for you in our initial consultation.
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Individual therapy helps you understand your own patterns and history as they show up in relationships. Couples therapy works with the relationship itself — the dynamic between you — as the primary focus. Both have value, and sometimes both are happening at once.
Couples therapy available in person in Boulder, CO and via telehealth across Colorado and North Carolina.
